The Danger of Believing Too Strongly in Love at First Sight

You might be wondering why I'm giving love at first sight such a bad rap. It's not that I don't think the idea is sweet, or that I don't love me some romantic movies. (My favorite love at first sight scene's gotta be this one from Romeo and Juliet.)

But it's wrong to think that if you don't have intense feelings right away, it could never be love. Some of the best and strongest relationships started out in totally unromantic ways.

More importantly, though, the halo effect can be dangerous. If you see someone hot and assume that what you feel is love, you'll overlook qualities in them that could end up hurting you. You might let them get away with abusive behavior because your heart has taken over your better judgment.

Love is More than Just Looks

Everyone's got a different take on what love is, but few people believe that's made out of stuff you can find just by looking at someone. Love (at least if you ask me) is made up of compromise, empathy and patience. You can't give or get those sorts of things at first sight.

That doesn't mean that your initial feelings can't turn into love. When you first see someone, you might instantly know that you want to get close to them and learn about them. As your relationship progresses, those feelings might eventually grow into love. But is "love" really the word for your gut reaction? Not unless your definition of love is kinda superficial.

Is Your Mind Playing Tricks on You?

Have you ever seen someone and instantly felt attracted to every part of them, including their personality (even though you haven't even talked to them yet)? You might be quick to call it love at first sight, but it's probably what psychologists call the attractiveness halo effect. When you see someone who looks great, your brain sometimes jumps to the conclusion that their personality must be great, too.

We all know that not everyone's looks and personalities match up. Some attractive people are total jerks, and some of the best people in the world aren't what you'd necessarily think of as hot. So the halo effect is really just an illusion. Your sudden feelings of love might go away as soon as you get to know the person better.

10 Things You Need to Know About Love.....

1. Love does not hurt. Physical and/or emotional abuse are not a part of love.
2. Love is not manipulative, it should not be used to get others to do what you want. You should never give in to demands based on the, "You would do it if you loved me!" tactic.
3. Love is an intense feeling of caring for another person. It can take many different forms (romantic, friendly, familial) but it is always about caring.
4. Although it is true that a big part of love is putting another person's happiness ahead of your own this never includes compromising your values or being untrue to yourself.
5. If somebody asks you to do something that you don't want to do in order to "prove" your love they do not love you the way you might think they do. When you love another person you don't ask them to sacrifice a part of themselves in the name of that love.
6. It is very easy to confuse lust for love. The true measure of romantic love is commitment and trust not physical attraction.
7. It is possible to feel romantic love for more than one person at a given time. Just think, if it is possible for you to love both of your parents at the same time why would it be impossible to feel romantic love for two people at once? Don't beat yourself up emotionally if you find yourself in this unhappy situation. But be sure to remain single and be open and honest with all parties about your feelings and confusion.
8. Sex is NOT love. Love is NOT sex. Sex can be a part of romantic love but it is never mandatory.
9. Romantic love can (and often does) fade. When it goes there is not always a reason. When somebody falls out of love with you it does not reflect upon your value as a person or your desirability.
10. Love should make you feel happy, secure and appreciated.

THE ONE AND ONLY....

The most wonderful of all things in life is the discovery of another human being with whom one's relationship has a growing depth, beauty and joy as the years increase. This inner progressiveness of love between two human beings is a most marvelous thing; it cannot be found by looking for it or by passionately wishing for it. It is a sort of divine accident, and the most wonderful of all things in life.

STOP THE VIOLENCE !!!!

Drugs all over under the ground.
Guns, people crying, putting each other down.
People every day do crazy things.
Buying fancy cars and a lot ofrings.
You have nothing to show for yourself.
You're dying on the inside,and you have bad health.
I wonder what the community can do.
I have no idea, not even a clue.
I look in the paper and I see someone dead.
They layon the stretcher like it was a bed.
The mothers stand in silence.
People should think TO STOP THE VIOLENCE!!!

REALIZE...

To realize the value of ten years:Ask a newly divorced couple.
To realize the value of four years: Ask a graduate.
To realize the value of one year: Ask a student who has failed a final exam.
To realize the value of nine months: Ask a mother who gave birth to a stillborn.
To realize the value of one month: Ask a mother who has given birth to a premature baby.
To realize the value of one week: Ask an editor of a weekly news paper.

To realize the value of one hour: Ask the lovers who are waiting to meet.
To realize the value of one minute: Ask a person who has missed the train, bus or plane.
To realize the value of one second: Ask a person who has survived an accident.
To realize the value of one millisecond: Ask the person who has won a silver medal in the Olympics.
Time waits for no one. Treasure every moment you have.
You will treasure it even more when you can share it with someone special.
To realize the value of a friend: Lose one.